You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide From Inappropriate Questions About Your Love Life

6 Jul

Your love life is full of awkward moments, and whether or not you actually have a love life at the moment is irrelevant. The most awkward
moments in your relationship (or lack thereof) are rarely caused by you or your significant other. Socially retarded people are everywhere, and they love to ask inappropriate questions. These morons are constantly on the prowl, waiting for the right moment to swoop in and pepper you with insanely inappropriate questions about your love life.

If you don't have anything normal to say, then shut the he*l up.

Inappropriate Questions When You’re Single:

Question: Why aren’t you dating anyone?

Often asked by:  Any annoying person you come in contact with.

If you’d like to know someone’s relationship status, ask them. If they say they’re single, the appropriate response is not, “why aren’t you dating anyone?” If the person voluntarily offers up this information to you, then fine. If not, they are refraining from sharing this information with you because it is none of your business.  What kind of response do you actually want from this person? Do you want them to say “I’m single because
I’m ugly, too needy, or I’m trying to work up the courage to come out of the closet?” Believe me, whether or not they are content with their relationship status, single people are aware that they are single. They don’t need you to remind them, and then try to make them think that something is wrong with them just because they aren’t currently dating anyone.

Inappropriate Questions When You’re Dating Someone:

Question: Are you two in love?

Often asked by:  children and obnoxious adults

If you want to create one of the most awkward moments you’ll ever experience, go ahead and ask a new couple if they’re in love. Hopefully you’ll enjoy yourself on this one, because they’ll probably do their best to avoid contact with you for the rest of eternity. Weirdo. Same goes for children
asking this question. Normal kids don’t care about things like this, and certainly have enough tact to know this is something you do not ask grown ups. If you hear your child ask this question, be proud of yourself, you’re raising a little weirdo.

Question: When are you going to get married?

Often asked by: family members, annoying co-workers, bored  housewives

Step one, is the woman wearing an engagement ring? If so, proceed with your question. If not, shut the he*l up. Why do people think it’s
okay to ask a couple who is not engaged when they’re getting married? What kind of answer are you expecting? Do you want to hear “he has commitment issues, she’s having an affair with her ex, etc?” Believe it or not, both of these people are aware that they are not engaged. Your stupid comment will not make him propose, but it probably will make both of them hate you. He might be working hard to save up for a ring, she
might actually hate him, or they might really want to be the next Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who knows? One things for sure, you don’t know, and you’re definitely making things more awkward, so again shut the he*l up.

Inappropriate Questions When You’re Engaged:

Question: Where’s my wedding invitation?

Often asked by:  Anyone you dislike.

Unless you have a close relationship with the bride and groom, and have specifically been told that you are invited to their wedding, keep this question to yourself. Yes, wedding invitation do get lost in the mail from time-to-time, but it really doesn’t happen that often. If you have to ask
for a wedding invitation, you probably are not invited. Save yourself, and the couple some embarrassment by doing the math on this one.

Inappropriate Questions When You’re Married:

Question: When are you going to have children?/ Why don’t you have children?

Often Asked By:  family, annoying co-workers, bored housewives, predatory strangers

This may come as a shocker to some of you soccer moms, but everyone does not like children. Or even for those who do like children, parenthood may not be the first priority in a couple’s life right now. There’s a thousand reasons as to why a married couple does not have children. When it comes down to it, the decision to have a child is made by two people, and you’re not one of them. Maybe she’s secretly been going through grueling fertility treatments, one of them can’t physically have children, or they don’t feel like they’re financially ready to procreate yet. This can be a really touchy subject, and your very stupid question could really upset them. These two people don’t have children, and unless they offer additional information up to you on the subject, they probably do not want to discuss it with you.

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