Combat Bad Behavior in the Workplace by Following These Rules of Office Etiquette

12 Jul

Work environments at every company are different, but they all have one thing in common — people who exhibit universally unacceptable bad behavior in the office. There is a certain office etiquette that one must follow in order to not be a public nuisance. Most people automatically sense what these bad behaviors are, unfortunately others do not. 

There are no doors in cube land. Repeat after me, there are no doors in cube land...

Follow These Rules of Office Etiquette To Avoid Being Insanely Annoying at Work: 

  • Bad Behavior — Making Doctor Appointments. We get it, you have no shame, but the rest of us do. We’re glad you’re keeping up with your annual gynecologist appointments, but we’d be even more pleased if you’d schedule your appointment from somewhere, anywhere else.
  • Bad Behavior — Abusing the Office Microwave. In cube land, we sit in very close quarters. It’s inevitable that we’re going to be able to smell each other’s lunch. This is fine, as most food does have some type of smell to it. What is not fine is if you use the office microwave to heat up last night’s fish dinner, or some other equally pungent concoction. When in doubt, just don’t bring it.
  • Bad Behavior — Long Personal Phone Calls. We’re at work for 8 hours a day, obviously you’re going to need to use the phone for non-work purposes once in awhile. This is fine, normal, and dandy. What gets annoying is if you actually have scheduled weekly phone dates with family members, so you can avoid the long distance charges and save time at home. No one, and I mean no one, wants to hear you catch up with your sister for half an hour, every Wednesday morning. 
  • Bad Behavior — Reply Alls. There are very few instances where it is necessary to use the “reply all” button. If you want to suck up to the sender with an absurdly sappy message, bicker with them, or tell dumb jokes back and forth, please do so without spamming everyone else’s inboxes.
  • Bad Behavior — Chronic Lingerers. Some people can’t take a hint, or they just have a severe lack of work to do. Regardless, it’s not okay to hover over someone’s desk yakking their ear off about your kids, your garden, or your ingrown toenail. Especially at 4:55pm. The person whose ears you’re polluting wants to leave at 5pm, and although your stories are fascinating, they’re better off left to your diary.
  • Bad Behavior — Abusers of the Sick Day. Everyone has a person in the office that is constantly “sick,” although they appear to be perfectly healthy when they do show up at work. These people tend to get sick only on gorgeous sunny days, the day after they’ve told everyone in the office that they’re attending an event that night, extremely snowy days, Mondays and Fridays. The injuries tend to be strange such as, missing a week of work for a torn muscle, and then having no problem bounding through cube land upon their return. Don’t be this person, or your co-workers will hate your for constantly having to pick the slack of your absentee arse.
  • Bad Behavior — “Superstars.”  These people have a heightened sense of self-importance. They are constantly sighing loudly enough for everyone to hear, running through cube land like a maniac, and talk nonstop about how busy they are. No one usually has any idea what this person does, despite their alleged “busyness.” When you offer to help them with this mountain of work they claim to have, your offers are always declined. Why, you might ask? Because they wouldn’t be able to complain anymore. If you are genuinely busy, and highly stressed about it, ask for help. Don’t be a superstar.
  • Bad Behavior — Office Refrigerator. This appliance is on your floor at work and you probably share it with many of your co-workers. Although you’re free to leave leftovers in your refrigerator at home for 3 weeks, that’s not okay when you’re sharing this highly coveted space with 100 other people. It’s also not acceptable to keep open containers of any variety, serving platters, or condiments in there. You do not live at the office, therefore you do not need to make yourself at home in the office refrigerator.

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