Obnoxious Love –Tips To Avoid Being The Couple That No One Likes

13 Jul

Yes, we get it, you have a wife. Tell us one more time so we don't forget.

You’re wondering why your friends, both single and attached, seem to be avoiding you. You wonder if they’re jealous of your amazing relationship? Or maybe everyone has just been really busy for a (long) while? It probably doesn’t occur to you that no one is jealous of you and no
one
is extremely busy, you’ve just turned into a member of the obnoxious couples club. And no one wants to go near that.

 

Read on to see if you’re scaring people away with these annoying relationship behaviors:

  • Pet Names. Sure, most couples have pet names for one another that they use when no one else is in ear shot. This is normal. What is not normal is using these pet names in front of other people, any other people. If you call each other “butter nuts” and “baby bear,” that’s none of my business, but you make it my business if I have to hear you calling each other by those moronic names.
  • Title Flashers. You’ve got a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever, and you want EVERYONE to know it. You don’t have a reason, such as warding off a predator, for repeating the words “my boyfriend” over and over again, you’re just not sure if everyone within earshot heard you say that you have one, so you’re going to keep saying it be sure. Your friends have met your wife 1,000 times, but when talking to them, you still feel the need to refer to her as simply “my wife.” Why is this?! Trust me, everyone is glad that you’re taken! No one wants you to be on the market.
  • Abusing Social Media. When Mark Zuckerberg invited Facebook, I’d say it’s a safe guess that he never intended for status updates on his website to consist of things such as “cuddling on the couch with my baby bear,” or “I love my butter nuts.”First of all, pet names should never appear on any form of social media, that’s sick. Secondly, no one cares that you and your “baby bear” are laying on the couch together. That is not interesting. Why do you feel like the world needs to know this?  Are you insecure? Trying to make someone else jealous? Regardless of your motives, stop it, you look like a fool (and so does “baby bear”).
  • Inside Jokes. The point of an inside joke between a couple is that no one else gets it. Therefore it’s not necessary to discuss this inside joke when you’re out with other people, because they won’t get it. No, they’re not going to be envious of the secret world of “butter nuts” and “baby bear,” they’re just going to think you’re weird. When you’re out with other people, you need to talk to them in a language they will understand.
  • Fighting in Public. Everyone’s significant other gets on their nerves from time-to-time, this is utterly normal. What is not normal is heatedly discussing your issues with your mate in front of other people. For example, if you’re on a double date, do not fight with your other half at the dinner table, regardless of how much he’s irritating you. This is extremely uncomfortable for everyone, mainly the other couple sitting at the table with you. If you make a habit of this, pretty soon no one will want to hang out with you.

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