How to Behave at Public Pools

15 Aug

Respect Your Local Public Pool

*After a weekend trip to the pool, I decided it was necessary to re-post this public service announcement.

Like many other people, I’m fortunate enough to live in an area with easy access to a public pool. While this is great, and I appreciate the convenience of being able to lounge poolside near my house, this sweet deal still comes with all of benefits that public pools bring us. I’ve just returned from my first trip of the season, and subsequently feel the need to make a few public service announcements regarding etiquette for public pools. Read and learn my friends:

1.) Don’t spit in the pool, it’s gross. (While this may seem like a given, I wouldn’t be including this tidbit if I didn’t observe the offense with my own two eyes.

2.) Ladies, save the bikinis  the privacy of your shower, and opt for a one-piece when frequenting public pools if you are a.) more than 75 years old, b.) more than 100 lbs overweight, or c.) both.

3.) Men, wear a t-shirt at all times when not in the pool if you have man boobs, moobs, breasts or whatever you would like to call them. If women have to cover them up, so do you.

4.) Control your beer. This isn’t spring break, it’s a public pool in suburbia. It is not okay to spill your beer under someone’s lawn chair. Especially not at noon on a Sunday.

5.) Watch your children. Whether you keep them by your side like a normal parent or simply tie a leash on them is none of my business. It only becomes my business when you’re doe-eyed brat is stalking me from one side of the pool to the other, and blocking the sun from tanning me.

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