Stupid Wedding Traditions

23 Aug

Some wedding traditions are great, while others are just plain stupid. You want to make your big day memorable, but you also don’t want
your guest to cringe when remembering your wedding. Traditions are important, but think twice before deciding which ones to incorporate into your nuptials.

Get rid of stupid wedding traditions and make your big day fun for everyone.

Avoid These Ridiculous Wedding Traditions:

Receiving line:  There are very few people who enjoy the receiving line. In fact most people will look for an alternate exit to avoid getting caught in the receiving line trap. This is just as awkward for the wedding party, as no one wants to shake all of the dirty hands of your guests, hug people they’ve never met, and be forced to make weird small talk with strangers.

Head table: The vast majority of adults bring a date with them when they’re invited to a wedding. If you’re in the wedding party, it’s understood that you will not be sitting with your date during the ceremony. It’s also understood that as a member of the wedding party, you’re going to have to attend to certain duties during the wedding reception. That’s fine. But one thing that is just plain stupid and outdated is having a wedding-party-only head table. There’s a good chance the wedding party’s dates don’t know anyone else at the wedding, but yet they’re forced to sit through half the wedding reception on their own.

The traditional mile-long head table, positioned to face the room is a terrible idea. First of all, this allows you to only be able to talk to the people sitting directly on your left and right sides. Secondly, everyone at the wedding reception is watching you eat! You supposedly like the people in your wedding party, so why would you do this to them? Simply have a few different tables for the wedding party and their dates. Treat them like wedding guests, not caged zoo animals.

Matching bridesmaid dresses: Most people consider being a bridesmaid to be an honor; one that comes with a heavy financial burden. You like your bridesmaids, you like your wedding, so why not make sure that your bridesmaids like your wedding too? Your friends are probably different shapes and sizes, and have different budgets. It’s unreasonable to try to find one dress that all your bridesmaids are comfortable wearing and can afford. Since your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family members, trust them a little. Give them a dress length, a designated
color, then let them find a dress that they actually like and can afford. Remember, no one likes bridezilla.

Small children: Young flower girls and ring bearers are undeniably cute. If you have a young child that you want to put in your wedding, do it by all means. Let the 2 year old flower girl walk down the aisle, and then have a designated adult babysit her outside of the ceremony. Kids younger than kindergarten age are unpredictable. You can’t really explain to them that they need to be speechless during the wedding ceremony, because they’re not going to understand. There is nothing more rude and disruptive to the bride and groom than having kids screaming and running wild during their wedding ceremony. The bride and groom should be the center of attention, not the screaming brat in row 10.

Having this wedding garter slid up her leg by some drunk groomsman is every unmarried girl's worst nightmare.

Bouquet toss: When single people attend a wedding, they’re more aware than ever that they are unmarried. Whether they’ve arrived stag, or with a significant other, they know that no one wants to marry them. So when they’re herded together for the “lucky” chance of catching the bride’s bouquet or garter (from the groom), this is not a fun activity for them. Making the single people at the wedding reception stand in front of everyone and fight over a bouquet or a garter like a bunch of pathetic chickens is just another way for married people to mock them. As if that’s not bad enough, the “lucky” girl who catches the bouquet gets to have some sweaty pervert grope her, while running a garter up her leg, and the entire room watches and chants him on. This would be illegal at any place other than a wedding.

Dollar dance: Many of your guests have traveled from out-of-town to attend your wedding. They’ve spent a lot of money buying you nice wedding gifts, shower gifts, engagement party gifts and so on. Now it’s time for your wedding reception, and you’re going to charge them to dance with you. Really?! Not only is this super tacky, but it can also put you in an awkward situation. Remember your great-uncle Tom, who loves to give you super long hugs and still tries to spank you at age 30? Well he’ll definitely pay a dollar for the chance to give you a wedding day grope, and he’ll certainly want to get his money’s worth. Ponder these ideas before you insist upon having a dollar dance.

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