You Might Be a Yinzer If…

26 Sep

A true yinzer claims to bleed black and gold.

If you’re not from Pittsburgh, you might not be familiar with the term “yinzer.” That’s because this particular breed of person is only found inside the confines of the Western Pennsylvania borders. Continue reading only if you’re planning a trip to the area. If you are from Pittsburgh, consider this a reality check. You might be a yinzer if…

  1. You wear t-shirts out to bars, in public, that say things such as ‘jagerbush drinking team.’ Not only do you have a potential drinking problem, the fashion police also have a warrant out for your arrest.
  2. You’d let Big Ben date your daughter.
  3. You’re the first one to turn on the Steelers as soon as they lose a game, yet you cannot run from your couch to your refrigerator without stopping for a break.
  4. Not only do you live by the intelligent mantra ‘If you ain’t a Steeler fan, you ain’t sh*t,’ you have this message tattooed somewhere on your body.
  5. You’re a grown a*s man who has a deep love for wearing graphic tees. Bonus points if you’re 40 and over.
  6. You wear your Steelers jersey everywhere – to work, on dates, to pick up members of the opposite sex at the bar. Whatever. You don’t go anywhere that your Steelers jersey is not welcome.
  7. You can name every player that has graced the Steelers roster since 1975, yet you cannot name all 50 states.
  8. You consider it ‘eating healthy’ when you order a salad smothered in mozzarella cheese, fried chicken, french fries, and ranch dressing. After all a salad is a salad, right?
  9. You had your bachelor/bachelorette party on the South Side. You wore a blinking tiara. (If you were 25 or under at the time, you are excused).
  10. You have an entire room in your house dedicated to the Steelers, the Penguins, or both. While we all know that no one actually has a room dedicated to the Pirates, but if you ever decide to do this, mark another strike for yourself down.
  11. When you leave the city, (to go to english speaking places like Ohio) people do not understand a word that comes out of your mouth. This could be due to the fact that your vocabulary consists of fake words such as “dahntahn,” “yinz,” “git,” “n’at,” and “apost tu.” I hate to break it to you, but Pittsburghese is not a real language.
  12. No one in your family ever moves out of your hometown. Therefore, you went to the same high school where your parents met. You met your sweetheart there. Now your children go there.
  13. Your idea of going on vacation is spending a day at Kennywood.
  14. You consider the Cheesecake Factory a five-star restaurant.
  15. Forget the ketchup, you cover all of your food in ranch dressing.
  16. You haven’t left the house during a Steelers game in 15 years.
  17. Your idea of a family picnic is tailgating on the North Shore.
  18. It’s not a good night out unless you’ve had at least one jagerbomb.
  19. You danced to the “Pittsburgh Polka” at your wedding. And it was your first dance as a married couple.
  20. You considered Jeff Reed a standup guy until he left the Steelers.

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