Keep Your Appetite in Check at the Office Christmas Party

8 Dec

The holiday season has officially arrived, which means one important thing, the office Christmas party is right around the corner. The office ladies in your company are ready to get wild! They’re busting out their Christmas sweaters, pulling on their elastic waist party pants, and preparing to bring in their favorite fattening concoction to force feed you. You know you’re excited, right?

I swear the husband of a former co-worker once wore antlers to our office Christmas party. Antlers are cute on dogs, not grown men.

I swear the husband of a former co-worker once wore antlers to our office Christmas party. Antlers are cute on dogs, not grown men.

If you’re trying to survive this annual office party without busting a button in your pants (that’s right normal people do not wear elastic waist pants to work), never fear, you can do this. Here’s how to choose your party food wisely:

  • Bring Healthy Party Food: If your Christmas party includes a pot luck lunch, this is a no brainer. Bring anything you want as long as it’s healthy, then eat all of it yourself. Office ladies hate nothing more than the dreaded healthy party food, so they’ll be avoiding your fat-free contribution like they avoid the treadmill. Remember they’re all being “naughty” with their diets today.
  • Splurge Wisely: Even the most disciplined of us have our weak hogzilla moments. The best way to handle this is to accept it ahead of time. Instead of completely depriving yourself of any party food that looks unhealthy, let yourself go wild with one or two items that look really, really good.
  • Think Before You Eat: Back to the pot luck lunch Christmas party. If your office party planners have designated this as the style for your Christmas party, it’s a good idea to try and figure out who brought a dish before you decide to eat it. This will not only keep you from eating a fat bomb in disguise, but can also help you to avoid getting sick. For example, if Sallie from Payroll has been hacking up a lung and snotting all over herself for two weeks, you don’t want to eat what she brought.
  • Bring Your Own Lunch: There’s never any shame in staging a revolt against office food, even during a party. If you’ve seen the catered lunch menu and it makes you gag, or if you’re quite sure that you want nothing to do with the pot luck party food, bring your own lunch. I’ve been refusing office food in general for years, and trust me it’s really not that awkward. For example, if we’re having an office pizza party, I politely say “no thanks” and bring my own salad. If the wolf pack of office ladies get annoyed, who cares, they’re just jealous they don’t have your iron willpower.

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