Practice Good Manners at the Gym, Round Two

9 Jan

In honor of the horde of new year’s resolutioners invading health clubs across the country, I’ve decided it’s time for another round of gym tips to keep everyone looking good and behaving properly while working out. If you just got a new gym membership, it’s okay to be an amateur, just be conscious of your surroundings and learn to adapt to what the old pros around you are doing.

Have Good Manners at the Gym By Following These Golden Rules:

  • The Locker Room is Not a Nude Ranch. I’ve seen a 300lb senior citizen naked from the waist down twice recently in the locker room of my gym. Kudos to her for exercising her gym membership, but holy cow, put some freaking pants on woman! Even some granny panties would be a significant improvement at this point. I dare you to imagine the mental picture that is permanently seared to my brain. Don’t be the locker room nudist.
  • Tucking Your Shirt in Looks Stupid. Men are most commonly guilty of this offense, namely middle-aged men. If you want your appearance to scream, “I’m middle-aged and I’ve never set foot in a gym before,” then by all means carry on. Otherwise, untuck that shirt, you look like an idiot.
  • Hang the Phone Up. Whether you’re next to me on the stairstepper or changing within earshot of me in the locker room, I don’t want to hear you yakking on the phone. A quick phone call is one thing, but long drawn out therapy sessions are simply not good manners. I don’t want to hear about your depression, how awkward things are at home living with your ex, or whatever it is that’s ruffling your feathers. Health clubs are for working out, so go to group therapy if you want to find strangers willing to listen to your woes.
  • Don’t Try to Ride a Broken Pony. Or elliptical, stairstepper, whatever… If there’s a giant sign with the words “out of order,” on a machine this means it’s broken. Seems simple, right? Not necessarily. While working out one day last week, I saw five people try to use a broken stairstepper in a 45 minute time span.
  • Wipe the Machines. When you’re working out, you sweat, so be polite and the wipe machines off when you’re done with them. You might not be grossed out if your sweat is all over the treadmill, but I can guarantee no one else wants to touch that with a ten foot stick. Unless you’re Donnie Wahlberg, then just hand that towel over to me…

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4 Responses to “Practice Good Manners at the Gym, Round Two”

  1. b2afitness January 9, 2012 at 5:44 am #

    That last one is a pet peeve of mine!!

    • thejerp January 9, 2012 at 8:51 am #

      I know – so gross!!

  2. Tyler January 13, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

    tucked in shirts at the gym, who does that? It def looks ridiculous.

    But the biggest faux pas people commit at the gym is leaving weights on their equipment after they finish. Or when someone walks away to the water fountain without marking their machine with a towel or water bottle.

    • thejerp January 14, 2012 at 9:36 am #

      I know! It’s the same 40 yr old men who wear leather weight belts around their waists… Oh ya, good one, I didn’t even think of that!

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