If Your Into Cigarette Smoking Don’t Douse Yourself in Gasoline

23 Mar

As cheap, health conscious weirdo, who also happens to be afraid of fire, it’s no shocker that I’m not a fan of cigarette smoking. I cannot even begin to comprehend why anyone in modern life would pick up this nasty habit, when everyone knows what the effects of smoking will do to you. Back in the Mad Men era, people like Don Draper weren’t aware of the harmful effects of smoking (Yes, I am insinuating that Mad Men is real. Please don’t tell me otherwise.), so at least they had an excuse.

Thanks to an unfortunate incident with a gas pump the other day, I can add yet another reason for why I’m grateful that I’m not a smoker to the list. Here’s what went down:

I was putting gas in my car, and when it was all filled up I pulled the pump out. Standard procedure. What I wasn’t expecting was the stream of gas that shot up from the pump, right into my eye, my leg, my foot and some of my dress. AHHH! Thankfully I had a water bottle with me to wash my eye out, and then I hightailed it home, before the gas could cause me to spontaneously combust. Trust me, it’s pretty scary to drive home after you’ve doused yourself in gasoline. Especially when you’re afraid of fire.

As I approached my neighborhood, I remembered that some of my trashier neighbors love to do their cigarette smoking in front of their houses, even though we all have private back patios. Although I appreciate getting the opportunity to walk through their clouds of cigarette smoke on a normal day, I panicked about what could happen if I had to walk through them covered in gasoline. BOOM! Thankfully the coast was clear for me to run inside, strip off my highly flammable clothing, and take a nice, hot shower.

In case you ever spill gas on your clothes, you'll need baking soda, baby oil and white vinegar.

In case you ever spill gas on your clothes, you'll need baking soda, baby oil and white vinegar to get it out (and to clean your washing machine afterwards).

Moral of the Story: Cigarette smoking could cause you to explode if you ever accidentally douse yourself with gasoline. So don’t smoke. If you’re already a smoker, stop now!


2 Responses to “If Your Into Cigarette Smoking Don’t Douse Yourself in Gasoline”

  1. The Savvy Sister March 23, 2012 at 11:13 pm #

    OK I give up…what does the photo have to do with the story? (If it’s something obvious I will be really embarrassed…)

    • thejerp March 23, 2012 at 11:46 pm #

      Haha. Those are all just the things I had to buy to get the gas out of my clothes, then my washing machine. A way better picture would’ve been me dancing around the gas station after being attacked by the gas pump, but unfortunately no one got that on camera :)!

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