Tag Archives: meet people

Beware of the Office Lady

28 Sep

Nap time for the office lady. Naughty, naughty. Giggle, giggle.

If you work in corporate America, then you’re familiar with the office lady. An office lady is a different breed of person that no one who works outside of our country’s office buildings can understand, or actually believe exists. They’re weird, annoying, and they dress funny, but like it or not, the office lady appears to be here to stay.

The main characteristics of an office lady:

1.)    She wears tennis shoes with her dress clothes anytime she leaves the building.

Comfort is key to the office lady.

2.)    She believes that dieting is “very hard,” and although she’s been on one the entire time you’ve known her, you think she may have actually gained weight.

3.)    She takes daily afternoon trips with at least one other office lady to a bakery near your building, where they buy a “naughty treat” and then giggle about it. Yes, cupcakes are h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s. She also has no idea why her diet isn’t working…

Every office lady loves cake.

4.)    She’s always “very busy” although no one actually knows what it is that she does, besides loudly scheduling gynecologist appointments from her cubicle and keeping daily half-hour long phone dates with her sister.

5.)    She’s always peddling candles, makeup, and other gadgets from the catalogues of the many pyramid schemes that she works for. She persists on inviting you to her house at least one Saturday night a month for these sales parties, attempting to bait you with the guarantee that her famous lard dip and 16 layer cake will also be in attendance. You’ve never said yes, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

6.)    She doesn’t have friends, she has “girl friends.”

7.)    You no longer need a calendar to keep track of the date, as her outfits revolve around all of the upcoming holidays. There’s Halloween vests, Christmas sweaters, 4th of July earrings — you name it, she’s worn it.

8.)    She spends at least one half-hour at your desk each day telling you about her latest medical ailments, her children’s teachers, and her thoughts on the latest celebrity gossip. She doesn’t seem to notice that you have your back turned away from her and are not actually responding to her questions.

9.)    She appears at your desk at lunchtime everyday to talk about what you’re eating for lunch.

10.) She gets really excited when management allows you to wear jeans on Fridays. This is the highlight of her week. Top this off with a donut and she won’t even notice if she doesn’t get a raise next year.

Check out the Pittsburgh Morning Freak Show‘s Mikey & Big Bob in “Cake in the Break Room,” featuring I-Justine

You Might Be a Yinzer If…

26 Sep

A true yinzer claims to bleed black and gold.

If you’re not from Pittsburgh, you might not be familiar with the term “yinzer.” That’s because this particular breed of person is only found inside the confines of the Western Pennsylvania borders. Continue reading only if you’re planning a trip to the area. If you are from Pittsburgh, consider this a reality check. You might be a yinzer if…

  1. You wear t-shirts out to bars, in public, that say things such as ‘jagerbush drinking team.’ Not only do you have a potential drinking problem, the fashion police also have a warrant out for your arrest.
  2. You’d let Big Ben date your daughter.
  3. You’re the first one to turn on the Steelers as soon as they lose a game, yet you cannot run from your couch to your refrigerator without stopping for a break.
  4. Not only do you live by the intelligent mantra ‘If you ain’t a Steeler fan, you ain’t sh*t,’ you have this message tattooed somewhere on your body.
  5. You’re a grown a*s man who has a deep love for wearing graphic tees. Bonus points if you’re 40 and over.
  6. You wear your Steelers jersey everywhere – to work, on dates, to pick up members of the opposite sex at the bar. Whatever. You don’t go anywhere that your Steelers jersey is not welcome.
  7. You can name every player that has graced the Steelers roster since 1975, yet you cannot name all 50 states.
  8. You consider it ‘eating healthy’ when you order a salad smothered in mozzarella cheese, fried chicken, french fries, and ranch dressing. After all a salad is a salad, right?
  9. You had your bachelor/bachelorette party on the South Side. You wore a blinking tiara. (If you were 25 or under at the time, you are excused).
  10. You have an entire room in your house dedicated to the Steelers, the Penguins, or both. While we all know that no one actually has a room dedicated to the Pirates, but if you ever decide to do this, mark another strike for yourself down.
  11. When you leave the city, (to go to english speaking places like Ohio) people do not understand a word that comes out of your mouth. This could be due to the fact that your vocabulary consists of fake words such as “dahntahn,” “yinz,” “git,” “n’at,” and “apost tu.” I hate to break it to you, but Pittsburghese is not a real language.
  12. No one in your family ever moves out of your hometown. Therefore, you went to the same high school where your parents met. You met your sweetheart there. Now your children go there.
  13. Your idea of going on vacation is spending a day at Kennywood.
  14. You consider the Cheesecake Factory a five-star restaurant.
  15. Forget the ketchup, you cover all of your food in ranch dressing.
  16. You haven’t left the house during a Steelers game in 15 years.
  17. Your idea of a family picnic is tailgating on the North Shore.
  18. It’s not a good night out unless you’ve had at least one jagerbomb.
  19. You danced to the “Pittsburgh Polka” at your wedding. And it was your first dance as a married couple.
  20. You considered Jeff Reed a standup guy until he left the Steelers.

Donnie Wahlberg Arrests Pimp in Blue Bloods Premiere

24 Sep

Danny Reagan (Donnie Wahlberg) finally came back our living rooms last night in the season two premiere of Blue Bloods. Last night’s episode was centered around the murder of a Reagan family friend’s husband, who was cheating on her with a Croation “lady-of-the-night.” Unfortunately Danny spent most of the episode in off-camera “court,” so we didn’t see get to see much of him. Donnie explained the reason for his absense on Twitter as he was still touring with NKOTBSB when this episode was filmed.

Blue Bloods started filming while Donnie was busy flashing his hot abs to arenas across the country on the NKOTBSB tour.

Thankfully we did get to see big bad Danny Reagan arrest a Croation pimp. Hot. Who wants to go do something naugthy so Donnie Wahlberg will put you in handcuffs? Or more like who wouldn’t want to be arrested by Donnie Wahlberg? Oh la la. Danny’s partner, Detective Jackie Curatola (Jennifer Esposito), actually does all the dirty work for this case, while looking super hot in her customary grey suit.

Meanwhile, Frank Reagan (Tom Selleck) hands his letter of resignation into new mayor, Carter Poole(David Ramsey), as apparently this is customary for the police commissioner to do. They have a little tension over the Croation pimp – Reagan family friend – Croation hooker scenario, but are friendly again by the end of the episode. Mayor Poole asks Frank to stay on as police commissioner, and after receiving the Reagan family blessing, he accepts.

Erin Reagan (Bridget Moynahan) spends most of the episode consoling her newly widowed friend, and trying to protect her and her family from the press finding out that her husband died as a result of an affair with a Croation hooker.

Jaime Reagan (Will Estes) is sent on an undercover mission to bust bars serving underagers, and allowing drug dealers to peddle their products. He meets a druggie who swears he knows him, and throughout the mission happens to run into him enough to earn his trust and get an introduction to his dealer. Right before the big intro happens, druggie has a bad reaction to his potion, so Jamie takes him outside to call an ambulance. Frank letter tells Jaime that druggie is a member of a big mafia family. It’s hinted that they’ll be more to come with Jamie being put on assignment to bust this mafia family in future episodes…

First Date Tips – Don’t Blow It By Being Clueless

21 Sep

No matter how good first date conversation is, it should never be continued in bed.

First dates are awkward. Especially if you’ve never actually met the person face-to-face. The next couple of hours of your life could be wasted on some total freak, or you might meet your prince (or princess) charming. It’s a total gamble. But if it’s inevitable that one of you is going to be a total weirdo, it’s important to make sure that it’s your date, not you. Follow these first date tips to keep yourself in check throughout the evening.

  • Ask Questions. First date conversation should include a lot of basic questions. Afterall, if you’re interested in someone you should want to learn all you can about them. Come up with things to talk about ahead of time, that you can revert to if conversation hits a lull. Remember, you’re not going to impress your date if you talk about yourself the entire time. If you only want to talk about yourself, save yourself the hassle by staying home and having a cup of coffee with your mirror.
  • Stay Positive. Everyone complains about things that bother them on a daily basis, some of us more than others. Complain all you want to your co-workers, friends, and family, but not as part of first date conversation. This person doesn’t know you. They’re not your therapist. And if you tell long, weird stories how enraged you are that your sister’s boyfriend is rude to you, that your dirty roommate steals your underwear, or that your mean boss always makes you work late, you’re going to sound like the weirdo. No one wants to date an angry troll, so if you are angry troll try to disguise that on the first date.
  • Keep it Short. First dates are awkward, so there’s no reason prolong the awkwardness by having a marathon 8 hour-long date. Meet for coffee or a drink, and leave it at that. If you liked each other you’ll have plenty of time to hang out together on future dates.
  • No Ex Talk. There is never, ever a reason to bring your ex into first date conversation, unless you’re actually trying to encourage this new person to never go out with you again. No matter how interesting, important, or relevant you feel a story about your ex might be, it’s not.
  • Arrive Alone & Leave Alone. Don’t offer to pick someone a first date up from work, their house or anywhere else. And vice versa. You always need an emergency getaway plan on a first date. So if one of you turns out to be really weird, how are you going to escape if you’ve arrived together? It’s an equally bad idea to invite a first date back to your place. If you want to keep the date going, then keep it going in public. It’s your first date, there’s no need to get to know each other that well.

Getting a Date — Ways to Meet People You Might Actually Like

19 Aug
If you’re single and looking to mingle, there are many places to meet people right under your nose. If you come in contact with tons of people on a daily basis, use this to your advantage. Or even if you don’t, it’s time to strap on one of Cupid’s arrows and get to work.

Sometimes Cupid needs a good, hard shove in the right direction.

You can meet singles at:

Professional Organizations:  ‘Network’ your way into a date. Whether you join an alumni association from your alma mater, one that focuses specifically on the industry that you work in, or a young professional’s organization, you’re bound to be invited to countless networking events. Get to know other professionals that you have something in common with, and you never know where (or to whom) it might lead you.

Adult Sports Leagues:
More and more cities are starting intramural sports leagues for adults. The sports offered vary by city but typically include activities such as soccer, softball, kickball, dodge ball, bowling, darts, corn hole, and so on. This is a great way to both get some exercise and to meet people. So gather up your friends (or just join a team solo) and get in the game, literally.

Public Transportation: Ditch your car and hop on the bus or train to get to work. Besides helping to save the earth, you might also be able to lend a hand to your dating life. Imagine how many bachelors and bachelorettes work in your city — thousands! There’s no way all of these people are driving into work. When you take public transportation, you never know who you might meet, but when you drive, you’re committing yourself to a solo ride.

Online: The stigma of going online to meet singles is a thing of the past, now everyone does it. Take a cruise through match.com, and you never know who you might meet. Maybe you’ll find that pretty lady that works in the building next to yours, or that raging stud that you always see at the gym. Your perfect mate might be just a click away, so get on that!

Volunteering: Find a cause or even just an event that interests you and volunteer to help out with it. If you like animals, walk dogs at your local animal shelter, or if you like to plan events, get on a committee for an event gala. Not only will you feel great about getting involved in your community, you’re also going to get to meet people that you probably never would’ve otherwise. And of course you never know just who you might meet…

The Gym: The gym can be a great place to meet people, plus you’ll have the added bonus of knowing that they’re in shape! Use caution when approaching someone at the gym, as you don’t want to be an annoying gym creeper. Ladies looking for love at the gym will be dressed nice. They’ll have makeup on, and will probably not be doing anything that will make them sweat. Men on the prowl will not leave the weight section, and will probably be wearing some sort of cut off shirt to showcase their muscles.

Bars: Although this one may seem like a no-brainer, it’s commonly gets a bad rap as a way to meet singles that doesn’t really work. Instead of heading to college bars at midnight, take a different approach if you’re really trying to meet someone special, to actually date. Go out for happy hour, when a many professionals head to the bar with friends or co-workers for an after-work drink. Don’t get a table, as you’ll be isolating yourself from the rest of the bar. On the weekends, head to the classier parts of town. Remember, if you’re basing your choice of bar on cheap drink specials, you’re probably also going to find a cheap date. You don’t want that.