Do You Follow Proper Gym Locker Room Etiquette?

If you’re a regular at the gym, there’s a good chance you’ve had some awkward encounters in the locker room. For reasons unknown to me, many people seem to have a hard time differentiating the gym locker room from their bathroom at home. Either that or they just have no sense of shame. Or they’re a big pervert. Regardless, it’s weird, uncomfortable, and annoying for everyone else in the presence of the offender,

Avoid these gym locker room behaviors, or people will think you’re a giant weirdo:

• Nudity: This is a gym locker room, not a strip club, no one wants to see you naked. Many people take showers at the gym, but yet only a select few feel the need to run around the locker room in the nude. Men, you can put your women’s locker room fantasies away, because I have never seen a young, hot girl parading around naked in the locker room. Usually these select few are older and/or impressively obese. The grand finally of their nude show almost always ends in big, white granny panties. There’s nothing more repulsive than walking in the locker room and coming face-to-arse with someone who is not wearing underpants, or of course any pants at all.
• Personal Space: There are tons of gym lockers at my gym, but for some reason when I’m done working out, someone is always standing next to my locker. This is not a problem for me, because I’d like to think I’m pretty good at understanding the boundaries of personal space. I simply get my things out of my locker and go somewhere else to get changed. Common sense, you’d think. Of course some people just don’t get it. If you’re getting dressed right next to “their” locker, no worries, they’ll just saddle up and get dressed thisclosetoyou. Eww, can we say woman pervert? This is a locker room, not a petting zoo.
• Locking Your Locker: Gym locker rooms do not come equipped with security guards. No one stands and watches your locker while you’re working out. Therefore it’s you need to bring a lock with you and lock those gym lockers up while you’re working out. If your fitness center doesn’t offer assigned gym lockers (and most don’t), it’s also annoying to others when you fail to lock up your belongings, because they have to open approximately 15 lockers in order to find a free one. This seems to be my nightly routine at the gym, and it really never gets less annoying.

For more gym etiquette rules, check out this post on HealthSPORT blog.

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Customer Service Skills Can Make or Break a Restaurant

A restaurant needs to have good customer service or they'll find themselves with a bunch of empty tables.

I can’t say that I know much of anything about the work that goes on behind-the-scenes to run a successful restaurant, because I don’t. The only things I really know are from a customer’s prospective — I want a restaurant to be clean, have good food, great ambiance, and have outstanding customer service skills. All of these factors work together to form a customer’s opinion of a restaurant, and if even one is off, it can leave a bad taste in their mouth.

Over the weekend my boyfriend and I went to the Sweetwater Grill, in Sewickley. The restaurant seemed very clean, the food was great, the ambiance was warm and inviting, but the customer service skills left me feeling a bit salty. Our server was very friendly, but it was her first night on the job, so she was understandably nervous. As a result she mistakenly put the wrong order in for me, and when our food came out it wasn’t even the item that I had ordered. I hadn’t asked for any substitutions, nothing on the side, it was simply the entirely wrong menu item. 

In what turned into weirdly a bit of a big ordeal, the manager asked if I would like them to take it back. Really, is this a valid question? If I wanted what they gave me, I would have actually ordered it. So they returned the grab bag dish to the kitchen and took their sweet time making what I really ordered. No rush to fix their mistake. When the salad that I had actually ordered finally came out, they were apologetic and nice about it, as they should be. Thankfully for them, I’m pretty nice, so regardless of what you might be thinking I did, I actually took the situation in stride and was very polite. By then, even though my boyfriend had been eating really, really slowly, he was almost finished, so each of us pretty much had to eat alone.

When the check came, I assumed my salad, or at least our appetizer would be discounted or even on the house, as a ‘sorry for the inconvenience,’ but no. There was nothing but a full-priced bill. I’d consider this a pretty bad display of customer service skills. I also found it odd that a restaurant would make a server’s first day a Saturday night shift, which kind of seems like a recipe for disaster. Regardless, restaurants are a dime a dozen, so when they make a mistake of this magnitude, most go out of their way to make up for it, to try to immediately correct the customer’s perception of them. One unsatisfied customer is just one person, but word spreads fast, especially when you have a blog.

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Follow Proper Dining Etiquette in the Office

Good office etiquette does not involve microwaving fish.

Most workers have a love-hate relationship with the office microwave. You’re grateful that it’s there, but at the same time you’re repulsed by it. In some cases, the same thing goes for the office refrigerator. When so many different people with varying tastes in food are forced to come together, it can really stink. Literally.

A certain dining etiquette must be followed in cubeland in order to avoid offending your neighbors. Unfortunately, this chapter of office etiquette is often left unspoken, and is up to the discretion of each individual to follow. While it’s unreasonable to expect your co-workers to bring completely odorless food for breakfast or lunch at work, there are many, many options available that won’t put you on the naughty list of office etiquette offenders. Try things like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, salads, lunchmeat, fruit, yogurt, cottage cheese, crackers and cheese, pitas and hummus, chips, cereal, and cold leftovers.

Starve Before Eating These Foods in Cubeland:

·         Microwaving Fish

·         Maple syrup

·         Curry

·         Fast Food French Fries

·         Freshly Popped Popcorn (popping it at home & bringing it in a ziplock bag will get rid of most of the smell )

·         Salami

·         Broccoli

·         Garlic

·         Certain cheeses

·         Raw onions

·         Hard-boiled eggs

·         Refrigerated cooked chicken

If you feel that you must break office dining etiquette and bring one of these offensive foods for lunch, then fine. Take yourself outside for a picnic with your stinky food. And remember to bring gum to freshen your breath afterwards…

For more reading on lunchtime office etiquette, check out The Wall Street Journal article, “A Field Guide to Obnoxious Eating.”

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Annoying Ways That People Break Cell Phone Etiquette

Follow proper cell phone etiquette when using your mobile.

Cell phones are fantastic. They make our lives so much easier that most of us have blocked out the dark ages when we used to have to share a landline with our entire family. Looking back that seems insane.  We were like cavemen.  The fabulousness of cell phones brings an added social responsibility that many people simply cannot handle. There’s a certain cell phone etiquette that one must follow when in possession of one of these devices. This is simple for most of us, but some people just don’t get it.

Examples of Bad Cell Phone Etiquette:

Mass Texting. When someone sends you a text message, you assume that they’re sending the message to you, not you and 15 other people. You know you’ve fallen victim at least once to a text from a friend saying “what’s going on tonight?” only to find out later that this person texted everyone in their phone, looking for the best response. It’s insulting to find out that you’ve been part of a phone book cattle call. Normal people don’t do this.

Walkie-Talkie Style. I still don’t understand this one. Why do people feel the need to walk around with their phones on speaker? You still have to hold your phone, so this does not free up your hands. No one else is with you, so you’re not making it easier for any willing parties to listen in. What is the point of it, besides causing noise pollution?!

Not Turning the Ringer Off. This happens to everyone sometimes, and the occasional slip up is not an issue. People who simply refuse to turn the ringer off at work, in movie theaters, during weddings, and at other inappropriate times to hear a cell phone blasting a “99 Problems But a B*tch A’int One” ringtone are a problem. It’s no wonder you’ve got no b*tch, with manners like that buddy.

In the Elevator. The average elevator ride takes less than a minute. That’s one minute of the day that you can’t talk on your cell phone. Really doesn’t seem that difficult, does it? Well apparently to many people it is. I find myself in the elevator with someone on the phone at least once a day and it’s just plain awkward. Regardless of how desperately you do not want to hear their conversation, you’re absolutely forced to listen. Perhaps are consciously aware that you have to listen and the like it, like some sort of weirdo ear exhibitionists?

Late Night. In college late night texting was cool, expected and a normal part of life. After you graduate college, it is no longer funny. Many people use their cell phones as alarm clocks and have to leave the ringer on all night. Therefore it is highly unappreciated to get a 2am drunk text on a Tuesday night from your jobless wonder of a friend. It’s even more unappreciated to get many drunken texts from said jobless wonder on a Tuesday night.

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Check out the Tina Fey Book – Bossypants

Photo taken by Gage Skidmore: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/4840341698/

If you still haven’t read the Tina Fey book — Bossypants, get yourself to your local bookstore immediately. The book is absolutely hilarious, and really well-written. This is a big thing for me, as I’ve become hesitant to ready books written by celebrities, with the exception of Chelsea Handler, because they’re all complete garbage. Tina Fey has now proven that she can not only pull off an amazing Sarah Palin impersonation, but she can also write a completely fantastic book.

Before reading the book, I didn’t know much about Tina Fey. Bossypants is a comical account of her awkwardness as a child and a young adult, and how she embraced this to become the wildly successful woman that she is today. Fey’s stories are not only incredibly amusing, but also completely relatable. Her self-mocking way of telling less-than-flattering tales about her own life makes it impossible not to like her.

This Tina Fey book also demonstrates that hard work really does pays off. Fey tells stories of how she worked her way up from a full-time Chicago YMCA employee, to a Saturday Night Live legend, to writing and starring in 30 Rock, her brainchild of a sitcom. Her accounts of this process include lots of long days, and long nights, but doing a job that she totally and completely loves. And being hilarious at it.

Hopefully this is just the first to come in books written by Tina Fey. Bossypants was such a winner that I’ll be the first one in line if she decides to come out with a sequel.

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Stupid Wedding Traditions

Some wedding traditions are great, while others are just plain stupid. You want to make your big day memorable, but you also don’t want
your guest to cringe when remembering your wedding. Traditions are important, but think twice before deciding which ones to incorporate into your nuptials.

Get rid of stupid wedding traditions and make your big day fun for everyone.

Avoid These Ridiculous Wedding Traditions:

Receiving line:  There are very few people who enjoy the receiving line. In fact most people will look for an alternate exit to avoid getting caught in the receiving line trap. This is just as awkward for the wedding party, as no one wants to shake all of the dirty hands of your guests, hug people they’ve never met, and be forced to make weird small talk with strangers.

Head table: The vast majority of adults bring a date with them when they’re invited to a wedding. If you’re in the wedding party, it’s understood that you will not be sitting with your date during the ceremony. It’s also understood that as a member of the wedding party, you’re going to have to attend to certain duties during the wedding reception. That’s fine. But one thing that is just plain stupid and outdated is having a wedding-party-only head table. There’s a good chance the wedding party’s dates don’t know anyone else at the wedding, but yet they’re forced to sit through half the wedding reception on their own.

The traditional mile-long head table, positioned to face the room is a terrible idea. First of all, this allows you to only be able to talk to the people sitting directly on your left and right sides. Secondly, everyone at the wedding reception is watching you eat! You supposedly like the people in your wedding party, so why would you do this to them? Simply have a few different tables for the wedding party and their dates. Treat them like wedding guests, not caged zoo animals.

Matching bridesmaid dresses: Most people consider being a bridesmaid to be an honor; one that comes with a heavy financial burden. You like your bridesmaids, you like your wedding, so why not make sure that your bridesmaids like your wedding too? Your friends are probably different shapes and sizes, and have different budgets. It’s unreasonable to try to find one dress that all your bridesmaids are comfortable wearing and can afford. Since your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family members, trust them a little. Give them a dress length, a designated
color, then let them find a dress that they actually like and can afford. Remember, no one likes bridezilla.

Small children: Young flower girls and ring bearers are undeniably cute. If you have a young child that you want to put in your wedding, do it by all means. Let the 2 year old flower girl walk down the aisle, and then have a designated adult babysit her outside of the ceremony. Kids younger than kindergarten age are unpredictable. You can’t really explain to them that they need to be speechless during the wedding ceremony, because they’re not going to understand. There is nothing more rude and disruptive to the bride and groom than having kids screaming and running wild during their wedding ceremony. The bride and groom should be the center of attention, not the screaming brat in row 10.

Having this wedding garter slid up her leg by some drunk groomsman is every unmarried girl's worst nightmare.

Bouquet toss: When single people attend a wedding, they’re more aware than ever that they are unmarried. Whether they’ve arrived stag, or with a significant other, they know that no one wants to marry them. So when they’re herded together for the “lucky” chance of catching the bride’s bouquet or garter (from the groom), this is not a fun activity for them. Making the single people at the wedding reception stand in front of everyone and fight over a bouquet or a garter like a bunch of pathetic chickens is just another way for married people to mock them. As if that’s not bad enough, the “lucky” girl who catches the bouquet gets to have some sweaty pervert grope her, while running a garter up her leg, and the entire room watches and chants him on. This would be illegal at any place other than a wedding.

Dollar dance: Many of your guests have traveled from out-of-town to attend your wedding. They’ve spent a lot of money buying you nice wedding gifts, shower gifts, engagement party gifts and so on. Now it’s time for your wedding reception, and you’re going to charge them to dance with you. Really?! Not only is this super tacky, but it can also put you in an awkward situation. Remember your great-uncle Tom, who loves to give you super long hugs and still tries to spank you at age 30? Well he’ll definitely pay a dollar for the chance to give you a wedding day grope, and he’ll certainly want to get his money’s worth. Ponder these ideas before you insist upon having a dollar dance.

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How to Behave at Public Pools

Respect Your Local Public Pool

*After a weekend trip to the pool, I decided it was necessary to re-post this public service announcement.

Like many other people, I’m fortunate enough to live in an area with easy access to a public pool. While this is great, and I appreciate the convenience of being able to lounge poolside near my house, this sweet deal still comes with all of benefits that public pools bring us. I’ve just returned from my first trip of the season, and subsequently feel the need to make a few public service announcements regarding etiquette for public pools. Read and learn my friends:

1.) Don’t spit in the pool, it’s gross. (While this may seem like a given, I wouldn’t be including this tidbit if I didn’t observe the offense with my own two eyes.

2.) Ladies, save the bikinis  the privacy of your shower, and opt for a one-piece when frequenting public pools if you are a.) more than 75 years old, b.) more than 100 lbs overweight, or c.) both.

3.) Men, wear a t-shirt at all times when not in the pool if you have man boobs, moobs, breasts or whatever you would like to call them. If women have to cover them up, so do you.

4.) Control your beer. This isn’t spring break, it’s a public pool in suburbia. It is not okay to spill your beer under someone’s lawn chair. Especially not at noon on a Sunday.

5.) Watch your children. Whether you keep them by your side like a normal parent or simply tie a leash on them is none of my business. It only becomes my business when you’re doe-eyed brat is stalking me from one side of the pool to the other, and blocking the sun from tanning me.

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Bridal Showers are Boring – Give Yours a Makeover

You better hope for spiked punch if you want to have fun at a bridal shower.

I don’t know many people who don’t dread going to bridal showers. Even most of my married friends found their own bridal shower to be a bit dull and uncomfortable. The reason for this is that while the rest of the world has evolved since the 1950’s, for some reason bridal showers have not.

In another lifetime I don’t doubt that women did enjoy getting dressed up, exchanging recipes, playing stupid games, and winning prizes such as dish towels and potpourri. However, that era has past. It’s now up to us to give bridal showers a much needed makeover.

Bridal Shower Themes

Deciding on a bridal shower theme allows you to neatly pull all of the million other little details together. For example, if your theme is candy, such as with Ralph Lauren’s daughter Dylan’s bridal shower, you can give guest ring pops as favors, use bowls filled with candy as centerpieces, and serve candy inspired cocktails.

Bridal shower themes allow you make the decorations, activities and food flow together into a classy event, instead of a hot mess.

Get Rid of the Bridal Shower Games

No one likes bridal shower games. They’re stupid, cheesy, and usually result in a good half hour of your life that you’ll never get back. Instead of a failed attempt to entertain your guests with dumb games, create an activity that’s actually fun and cute.

Every bridal shower budget is different, and that’s okay. You can come up with a pricey winning activity if this is a big budget affair,but it’s also easy to find some good, cheap entertainment.

Bridal Shower Activity Ideas:

• Cupcake decorating contest. Have each guest decorate a cupcake or a cookie with an assortment of toppings. Make the bride be the judge. Give the creator of her top choice(s) a box of chocolate or a bottle of wine.
• Cocktail Seminar. Hire a bartender, or bribe a friend that makes good drinks, to give the ladies a couple of cocktail making lessons.
  Allow everyone to have a sample of each creation, a small one of course. No one wants to see Aunt Sally getting sloppy.
• Spa Day. If you have a big budget and can afford to host the bridal shower at an actual spa, then absolutely do so. Otherwise, hire a
  couple of manicurists from a local beauty school (cheap labor) to come and do the guests’ nails. Instead of spending money on a ton of favors and prizes that guests will never use, give them the gift of great nails.
• Cooking Demonstration. Hire a chef, culinary student; someone that knows their way around the kitchen — whatever fits your budget, to show the ladies how to cook some kind of fabulous dish. Unless you plan to rent out a restaurant kitchen, your guests will just be watching and not participating, but regardless they can still learn a few points by observation.
• Invite the Men. There’s no reason why men can’t accompany women to bridal showers. After all, the groom benefits from the gifts
  given to the couple just as much as the bride does. Turn the bridal shower into a low-key cookout, and let the groom help open some of those gifts!
• No Activity. Whether you’re trying to keep the shower short and sweet, or have a really tight budget, it’s more than okay to just have
  no activity. This has to be better than bridal bingo.

Bridal Shower Food Ideas:

If you’re holding the bridal shower at a restaurant, then you have it made. Your guests will be served a lovely lunch that you don’t have to prepare, serve, or clean up after. While this is ideal, it is not necessarily an affordable option for most people.

Otherwise, consider not holding your bridal shower during lunchtime for these reasons:

• Makes the bridal shower drag on, and on and on…
• Unnecessary added expense. No one expects you to serve them a full meal at a bridal shower. Save that money and put it towards giving guests a nice dinner at the reception.
• Lots of extra work. Preparing a full meal, serving it, cleaning it up take a lot of work. Save yourself the effort and just serve appetizers or desserts.
• Lack of quality. If you’re trying to prepare an affordable meal for a moderately large bridal shower guest list, you’re probably going to have to cut corners to make it affordable. Why make the event less classy when you don’t have to?

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Taking Children With Behavior Problems to Adult Restaurants Is a Big No No

This guy tries to avoid restaurants with screaming children too.

One of the most annoying examples of a child with behavior problems and a parent who’s in denial, or just plain doesn’t care, occurs at restaurants. Whether you have children or not, no one wants to go out to a restaurant and listen to someone else’s kid scream the entire time.

Just this past weekend my boyfriend and I went out to dinner at a chain restaurant, one that places an emphasis on adult things like happy
hour specials and a large cocktail menu. I had the pleasure of sitting directly in front of a young child who seemed to genuinely enjoy hearing himself scream. There appeared to be nothing wrong with this kid, he was just screaming because he was kind of an a*#hole. Although we were sitting at a tiny little two person table, at times I had trouble hearing my boyfriend talk over this shrieking demon of a child.

The real offender in this situation was not the devil child, but the devil child’s parents. Sure, maybe they’re immue to their child’s shrieking, but they need to understand that the rest of the restaurant is not. Nor should they be. Maybe the kid has just as little interest in spending his evening in an adult restaurant, as the rest of the patrons have in listening to him squak. He wants to go to Chuckie Cheese, or some equally enticing child wonderland where he can run around screaming like a little barbarian. This is understandable. Some kids are well-behaved adults at heart, others are not. If you’re a parent, you know which category your child fits into.

Therefore parents, if you know that your child has behavior problems, don’t take him out to an adult restaurant. Get a babysitter, order in, or put a muzzle on your kid; but don’t let him ruin what would otherwise be a perfectly nice dinner for the complete strangers in the room with you.

Read this fantastic story, “Monroeville Restaurant Bans Kids Under Age 6,” in the Pine-Richland Patch from a mother who really gets it.

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Burning Bridges By Not Responding to Messages

You look like a giant "donkey" when you fail to respond to messages from others.

If you’re like most people, you probably feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. You’re busy working, taking care of your kids, cleaning your house, and so on. In order to make extra room in your day, sometimes the easiest thing to do is ignore emails, text messages, and voicemails, because after all, they’ll still be there tomorrow, right? Maybe or maybe not.

What you’re forgetting is that everyone is busy, not just you. By increasing your response time on returning messages, you’re probably burning
bridges with friends, family and business associates. These days it’s so easy to contact people, that you almost have to go out of your way to avoid responding to someone.

Reasons to Promptly Return Messages:

• It’s rude not to. Think of how you feel when you need to get in touch with someone and they won’t return your messages. Regardless of your intentions, your non-response is implying that you don’t really want to talk to the person, and you don’t respect them.
• It could be important. Maybe there has been an emergency, or perhaps something really big and really exciting has happened and the person really wants to share their news with you.
• It’s unprofessional. If someone sends you an email asking to interview you for a publication, or asking you a question for a project
  that they’re working on, they are counting on your response. If you choose to ignore their message, or reply after an extremely long response time, they will not want to work with you in the future.
• People will stop making plans with you. Consider this, if a friend, or a potential mate tries to secure plans with you early in the
  week for the upcoming weekend, they are letting you know that spending time with you is a priority to them. If you fail to respond to their message until Friday, you’re letting them know that spending time with them is not a priority to you. No one wants to be someone else’s backup plan.

If you’re guilty of being chronically late with your message response time, you need to reform yourself and fast.

Ideas to Improve Your Message Response Time:

• Respond to text messages right away if you’re prone to forgetting about them. It takes less than one minute to respond to a text message. If you claim to not have one free minute in your day, you’re lying.
• Mark emails that require a response as “unread” or flag them so you will remember to respond. I hate talking on the phone, so I understand the dread of returning voicemails. Decide if the message must be returned with a phone call. If so, do it as soon as possible to get it over with. If not, send a text message or an email to the caller with your response.

*Much thanks to my freelancer friend, Emily King, for donating the idea for this story.

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